I´ve been working some more days with my father in construction works and have been experiencing often a heavy sensation in my actions as tension. I relate this due to me been facing with difficulty in getting a job in my graduation area of civil engineering although I had already realized that is not easy to get an opportunity in my area of civil engineering in my country, due to the sudden increase of civil engineers in the last few years added to the construction crises in Portugal, although I am not accepting the idea of not working in my area of graduation, because of the effort and time spent on finishing the graduation. Also and maybe most important, would be the fact that if I was working as a civil engineer I would earn more money that I can make just being helping my father which is yet in a difficult financial situation. This scenario is being compounding month after month as I see myself more and more immersed in a sensation of lack of power with no clear idea on how to direct my life, and make my skills of practical use.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I will not fulfill the hopes and expectations that I and my family have of me working as a civil engineer, and therefore not be able to make my skills of practical use and live to my utmost potential;

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that I will not be able to live my utmost potential due to the fact that I am unemployed and limited by the amount of money I can make just being helping my father;

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I am not adjusted to the competitive world of civil engineering, due to me not having many work experience working for instance, in an office environment;

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that for me to work in my area of graduation I have to change and become someone else, due to me feeling that I am not adjusted to work within an environment that involves dealing with different professionals, that are generally much more experienced than me;

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I will not be able to live my utmost potential due to me not being practicing my working skills as engineer or within a similar job, where I could use my skills and develop the potential that I have, mainly involving some kind of calculations and routine procedures;

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive that I am losing time and effort, when I am getting additional courses in the area of civil engineering or courses that I consider of value for me, thinking that whatever courses I take, I will not get a job due to my limited work experience and/or because people generally don’t see me as a valuable worker;

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I am dependent on getting a job to start living in a honorable way, instead of realizing that I am honoring myself in the moment I stop my thoughts of limitation created from fear of survival, honoring and respecting myself as others in my life, supporting myself and committing myself to enjoy myself and therefore enjoy living in total acceptance for any condition that is current manifested in my life.

Therefore I take my life as it is, without any judgment or emotional reaction, making sure that within respecting myself, I make sure that I respect others in my life, enjoying and relating with others as equals.

When and as I see myself concerning about me not being currently using / applying my skills and potentiality as in a work position, I stop my thoughts and I focus on my breathing, realizing that I can use my potential as I give direction in practical actions in my daily life that require attention, therefore making myself self responsible as I give direction in my daily life activities.

Within this don’t allowing myself to start thinking in additional projections, wanting, needs to get a job.

Therefore, as I direct myself in my daily activities / occupations that are required, I place my attention and focus on moving myself in the most effective and practical way as my present moments require.